Thursday, May 15, 2008

Rolling Restarts

It's important to read every day! Sometimes you'll see a blog post they put up accidentally before it comes down and they fix it! Like this one, sent in by eagle-eyed TINY DANCING reader Darkchylde Daggerheart!


Rolling Restart for Part of the Grid, Some Time, Maybe, I Dunno

Hello small children.

LinusX Linden here. I have a Technical Announcement for you. Don't be scared! For you LSL "programmers" out there (LOL!) that means we is having rolling restarts on our servers. For you retarded art school dropouts, let me explain it in terms you might be able to grasp: UR WINDOZE PC MAYBE NO WORK NOW.

Or try and "picture" it this way, if you can put down the finger-paintings and sex clothes long enough to listen to a programmer and Libertarian: When your car stalls out, you get out and push with the brake off to start it again.

Of course, I just call Triple A because I am a highly-paid Network Management Administrator, and my hydro-electric Hydrogen Hybrid Diesel Ethanol SmartCar has zero mechanical difficulties thanks to its precision German engineering augmented by my unconventional "modifications" to its CPU and catalytic converter! LOL!

But all of you little people in your Toyota Camrys and Ford Explorers should be able relate to my above description as you sit in traffic, being programmed by the Mass Media to buy Kentucky Fried Dead Things and not to vote for Linus Torvalds, assuming your brains have not totally been atrophied by cell phones, television, and re-runs of "Friends."

For those whose brains have been entirely atrophied, here is a text message you may understand: SL DOWN. IS NO MORE RKELLY POZE BALLS 4 U. OH NOES!

Now comes the technical explanation. Those of you who wear "shoes" and have "jobs" and use "Windows" instead of rolling your own *nix kernel may safely skip the next part because you will never understand it before the heat death of the Universe:

This alleged proposed conditional rolling restart maybe won't possibly include a new server deploy, because we are reconfiguring the rollout reconfiguration from the asset servers, or to be more specific, we are retabulating the grid asset server data base pocket zeppelin stimulus package paycheck gangster computer god.

This will affect your server unless your green-eyed left-handed redheaded avatar is a 1.45 sims taller before and or if you check less than 3.003.33 (check under Properties > Avatars > Renders > Lookups > Tables > Displays > Weird Fucking Numbers rolling on the screen) and then by checking the server return address to see if it is a class 4 paladin region or a class 5 horde region because we use that outlet for the WOW connection.

So roll a programmatic million-sided dice and if it ends up over 233000 in Dog Years / Milliseconds times the speed of a hypothetical UFO outgassing anal fluid in tight orbit around the sun, then your avatar will be ruthed. So hearken.

"And a Childe shall be brought unto the circle, and, having its throat Stricken and its Tail sundered, it shall be offered to the dark gods with the words that ye Priest shall pronounce solemnly as he hurls salt over the shoulder of the left, and the shoulder of the right, and the testicle of the left, and the testicle of the right, and he shall recite:"


Thank you for your patience,

-LinusX Linden


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