Friday, April 18, 2008

Bling is My Thing

We at Tiny Dancing are committed to bringing you interesting and thought provoking commentary about Second Life. To that end, we have been scouring the metaverse to find the most educational, informative and witty pundits to expand our editorial roster. With that in mind, please welcome our newest columnist, Coolguy25. We think you'll like what he has to say.

PhotobucketBling is My Thing
by Coolguy25

Word up! Listen up peeps -- one of the best things about Second Life is that everybody gets a chance to shine. Whether you be making threads, spinning tunes, or coding up crunk rides, we all show off our creative lights. My special ability, and one that I believe I have really polished to the next level, is wearing Bling, or as we rockhounds call it, "Blinging."

Blinging is not as easy as it looks, believe me, even though it's one of those skills, like building or designing clothes, that looks simple. There is a low barrier to entry, to be sure, and so you see a lot of newbies doing it. All you have to do is just put on a diamond necklace with a lot of shine, right?

Damn, snizzer! It don't work like that! You can't just throw on a diamond-studded "777" neck snake on your first day out clubbing and tell people, "Yo, I'm blinging." Sorry Harley, but it ain't that easy. It takes years of dedicated hard work to Bling properly: to develop a repertoire, a wardrobe, and the confidence to wear 250 prims of glowing rocks that say "SUCKA 4 LIFE" to a Linden's Office Hours.

First things first, you have to have a solid collection of Bling, not just some random rock you grabbed out of a freebie dungeon. You have to know where to shop for Bling. You have to know how to shop for Bling. You have to know all the top Bling designers, from IceRock Samaritan to the GettoTiez Crew. You have to join the Bling groups like Shine On You Crazy Diamonds or the Ice Palace Posse (shout out to my boyz in the I.P.P! you boyz be HARD! Oh yeah you know what I talking bouts! HOWLZZZ!!) so you will be informed immediately when a new piece of custom Bling is available.

But quantity is not enough. Quality matters too. You have to hunt far and wide for the best Bling, like the ultra-rare Rainbow Rhinestone Playa Belt, which was released as limited edition piece by Djcashmoney back in April, 2007 before he quit the game. You don't see many of those on the Exchange anymore, my blinga! That's a rare, priceless collector's items in the Blingdom community. Or a Carbonite Creations FlexiTwister -- give one of those to a diehard shineboy and you will have a friend for life.

Another thing about Blinging is that you have to know the lingo. Half the time we don't even call it Bling -- it's "rock" and "ice" and "shine." Good Bling is "heavy" and it "rox." Bad, cheap, or prim-heavy Bling is dismissed as zirconian, or "zirc." Calling someone a "zirc jerk" is about the worst insult you can dish out in the Blinging community. Most newbs you see fronting with their freebie ropes are straight-up zircs, the fronters and the fakers! Those fools get played under the Sploder balls for the sucker rope-chuckers that they are!

So as you can see, Bling is my Thing, and I am excited to be able to talk to you about my Bling here every week.

Under my interests, you will, of course, find "Bling." I've also added it to the free text field underneath the Skills selection boxes, in case you should be interested in hiring me to wear some Bling for you at your next event.

Peace out.

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