Thursday, August 13, 2009
More User Tracking, Says Lindens
Linden Lab is seeking more ways to identify users, the company said today. Currently, users can have their payment details on file, their age verified, and their names added to the new Content Creator Registry. But the Lab plans more, it said.
"We're exploring a Gender Verification System, a DNA Registry, and an in-world Vehicle Driver's License system," said Catgirl Linden, a company spokesbeing. "To be followed up by RFID chipping, GPS tracking, and urinalysis.
"This will culminate in mass confinement in Kapor-Kurzweil Singularity camps, where all avatars will be merged into the final, emergent Cyber Omni-Mind."
A Second Life-related podcast was downloaded and listened to by an avatar named Burlywolf Whirlagig today, sources indicated. The recording began with an audio snippet from Family Guy, followed by an oral recap of Philip Linden's Twitter stream.
Next, two Podcasters and an inaudible stream of possibly extraterrestrial static began an unprepared discussion about eCommerce as it applies to breeding catgirls.
The podcast was halted at 20:15, following the third mention of the soporific term 'metanomics.'
Man Realizes Girlfriend Also Man
Dismayed avatar Coolguy25 has realized that his girlfriend Creamycat Tizzy is almost certainly also male in first life.
"I should've known by her impossibly hot IRL pix, refusal to use voice, and her total ignorance about shoe, dress, and bra sizes, but I had hoped this time was different," he said.
"But come on; even I know there's no such thing as an F5 Cup."
Coolguy's moment of clarity came after a lengthy discussion about the need for the New York Mets to bolster its starting rotation if they want to salvage anything this season, followed by a heated debate about the optimal key-bindings for World of Warcraft raids.