Ask a Second Life Bling Tard

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

I think my SL boyfriend has a problem. He is more interested in his combat roleplay than he is in spending time with me. He is part of the Space Marines group and they spend a lot of time building, simming, and making new weapons and of course battles. It barely leaves any time for him to cuddle his kittycat! Mew! What should I do?

-- Pajamacat Springfield

Bring da noise! Dat's right! Rock it boyz and girlz! Put your hands up! Put your hands up! All right! This club ROCKS! You peeps r the greatest! Give me some HOWLZ!!! Wooooo! Hoowwwwl! party like a rock star!

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

I just bought my first land here in Second Life. It's a nice little plot of 512 square meters. I put on it a new house on it that I made. Anyway my problem is my neighbors. They have put up the most ugly texture I ever seen it is animated and glowing and it hurts my eyes. I am afraid to file a report though what if the lindens say I am filing a false report I don't want to get banned. But this texture slows my pc it is very ugly.

-- Merry Masonry

Click my butt for the dance. Yeah hit the chim! Lets go come on every body! Say word! WORD! Come on tp in your friends and enemies 2! This party is just getting started! Did I hear a hell yeah? I cant hear you. Did I hear a HELL YEAH? That's what I'm talking about!

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

Lately I find myself going to some of the shemale clubs in Second Life. The girls there are really hot, I mean same as the other girls, but just the thought of a little secrets hidden up in their panties, I don't know something about it just kind of excites me. Does this mean I'm gay?

-- Confused in Connecticut

Motha fukkas say word! We are going to dance until dawn! Woot! Woot! Let's get your hands in the air! Give it up for our fabulous DJ Spinner33, he's got hip hop up the yip yop! Put yo hands up for our dancers 2, ladyKay and Michaelmostest. MAKE SOME NOISE DOGS!!!

Coolguy25 is a syndicated columnist whose weekly advice column, "Ask A Second Life Bling Tard," is published in such diverse and respected publications as Stars and Stripes and the Second Life Herald.

:]

Around the Grid

Original Artwork Purchased

An avatar purchased a framed painting today for 50L, sources indicated. The artwork was not a Boris Vallejo painting, Olivia print, Andy Warhol piece, Top 40 album art, Fantasy novel cover, Hollywood movie poster, or any other copyrighted, trademarked intellectual property, but an actual, original image drawn, painted, and uploaded by the creator.


Song Greeted Enthusiastically

DJ Crazycat Kringle urged the crowd to "make some noise" while playing Nelly's 'Party People' at the Black Box Nightclub last night, early reports suggest. The audience responded with enthusiasm, one member playing the "HOWLZ" gesture while another typed "Woot" into the chat window once or twice.


RezDay Celebrated

Surrounded by virtual acquaintances who do not know her in actual life, prim presents that cannot be traded for much-needed gasoline and groceries, and pixilated clothing that cannot be sold in the real world to offset rising mortgage payments on her one bedroom Florida condominium, Diane Cartwright, known as Gigglycat Tokugawa in Second Life, responded: "thx 4 gr8 prezzies" and "it means so much u bein here" while washing down another Zoloft with a swig of red, red wine.

SL Grid Status Reports

Recently Linden Lab has moved the Second Life Grid Status Reports into its own area away from the main SL blog.

While most of these reports are technical in nature, rest assured that Tiny Dancing will monitor these issues daily and bring the most interesting and relevant to your attention without hesitation or delay.



[RESOLVED] Partnership not working correctly

We’re currently aware of a problem with the Partnership feature for avatars Philnew McBride and Bunnypet Hugsalot. It seems there is an issue where Philnew created an alt to date Bunnypet's best friend Creamycat Tizzy and Bunnypet found out and they muted each other and broke up. We are investigating and will post updates as needed. Thank you for your patience.

[UPDATE] These issues have been resolved. Philnew said he was sorry and he has promised never to do it again and Bunnypet has forgiven him. Thank you for your patience.



[RESOLVED] In-World Communication Issues

The 'Black Box Nightclub' group chat channel is currently experiencing an excessive load caused by the mention of a clothing sale at an unrelated merchant. While this is being looked into, please avoid activities such as speaking on the Black Box Nightclub group chat channel.

[UPDATE] It is not necessary to refer to the original chatter as a spammer.
[UPDATE] Calling the person who called the original chatter a spammer is also spamming.
[UPDATE] No it's not dumbass.
[UPDATE] Yes it is numbnutz.
[UPDATE] Will you all plz just stfu?
[UPDATE] GROUP NOTICE: These issues have been resolved. Anyone who ever chats on the Black Box Nightclub group chat channel ever again for any reason, even to beg someone please to call an ambulance because of a goddamned heart attack, that person will be kicked out of the group and added to the Black Box Nightclub Ban List forever.

Thank you, BBN Management Team.



[RESOLVED] Lecture Uninteresting

We are receiving multiple reports from residents that the in-world lecture "Deconstructing the Metaversal Metanomic Body Politic" is "turgid shite" and "grad skool copypasta." We advise residents not to try and teleport into the event at this time.

[UPDATE] The lecture has been removed from the Events Calendar. Thank you for your patience.



[RESOLVED] Transaction History embarrassing

We are currently investigating an issue in which Coolguy25 consumed large quantities of wine coolers last night and spent $5000L on dungeon equipment, which is way more than he can afford and besides his apartment can only hold 36 prims and the Swing-N-Spank by itself is 48 prims, and it's all kind of useless since his girlfriend doesn't log in anymore anyway and what the hell was he thinking, god his head hurts and shit, he really needs to piss.

[UPDATE] Resolved. The vendor has agreed to refund the Swing-N-Spank but not the other items, and Coolguy25 has upgraded to a premium account, a primmier apartment, and a cold shower.

:o