Ask a Second Life Bling Tard

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

I think my SL boyfriend has a problem. He is more interested in his combat roleplay than he is in spending time with me. He is part of the Space Marines group and they spend a lot of time building, simming, and making new weapons and of course battles. It barely leaves any time for him to cuddle his kittycat! Mew! What should I do?

-- Pajamacat Springfield

Bring da noise! Dat's right! Rock it boyz and girlz! Put your hands up! Put your hands up! All right! This club ROCKS! You peeps r the greatest! Give me some HOWLZ!!! Wooooo! Hoowwwwl! party like a rock star!

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

I just bought my first land here in Second Life. It's a nice little plot of 512 square meters. I put on it a new house on it that I made. Anyway my problem is my neighbors. They have put up the most ugly texture I ever seen it is animated and glowing and it hurts my eyes. I am afraid to file a report though what if the lindens say I am filing a false report I don't want to get banned. But this texture slows my pc it is very ugly.

-- Merry Masonry

Click my butt for the dance. Yeah hit the chim! Lets go come on every body! Say word! WORD! Come on tp in your friends and enemies 2! This party is just getting started! Did I hear a hell yeah? I cant hear you. Did I hear a HELL YEAH? That's what I'm talking about!

Dear Second Life Bling Tard,

Lately I find myself going to some of the shemale clubs in Second Life. The girls there are really hot, I mean same as the other girls, but just the thought of a little secrets hidden up in their panties, I don't know something about it just kind of excites me. Does this mean I'm gay?

-- Confused in Connecticut

Motha fukkas say word! We are going to dance until dawn! Woot! Woot! Let's get your hands in the air! Give it up for our fabulous DJ Spinner33, he's got hip hop up the yip yop! Put yo hands up for our dancers 2, ladyKay and Michaelmostest. MAKE SOME NOISE DOGS!!!

Coolguy25 is a syndicated columnist whose weekly advice column, "Ask A Second Life Bling Tard," is published in such diverse and respected publications as Stars and Stripes and the Second Life Herald.

:]

SL Grid Status Reports

Recently Linden Lab has moved the Second Life Grid Status Reports into its own area away from the main SL blog.

While most of these reports are technical in nature, rest assured that Tiny Dancing will monitor these issues daily and bring the most interesting and relevant to your attention without hesitation or delay.



[RESOLVED] Partnership not working correctly

We’re currently aware of a problem with the Partnership feature for avatars Philnew McBride and Bunnypet Hugsalot. It seems there is an issue where Philnew created an alt to date Bunnypet's best friend Creamycat Tizzy and Bunnypet found out and they muted each other and broke up. We are investigating and will post updates as needed. Thank you for your patience.

[UPDATE] These issues have been resolved. Philnew said he was sorry and he has promised never to do it again and Bunnypet has forgiven him. Thank you for your patience.



[RESOLVED] In-World Communication Issues

The 'Black Box Nightclub' group chat channel is currently experiencing an excessive load caused by the mention of a clothing sale at an unrelated merchant. While this is being looked into, please avoid activities such as speaking on the Black Box Nightclub group chat channel.

[UPDATE] It is not necessary to refer to the original chatter as a spammer.
[UPDATE] Calling the person who called the original chatter a spammer is also spamming.
[UPDATE] No it's not dumbass.
[UPDATE] Yes it is numbnutz.
[UPDATE] Will you all plz just stfu?
[UPDATE] GROUP NOTICE: These issues have been resolved. Anyone who ever chats on the Black Box Nightclub group chat channel ever again for any reason, even to beg someone please to call an ambulance because of a goddamned heart attack, that person will be kicked out of the group and added to the Black Box Nightclub Ban List forever.

Thank you, BBN Management Team.



[RESOLVED] Lecture Uninteresting

We are receiving multiple reports from residents that the in-world lecture "Deconstructing the Metaversal Metanomic Body Politic" is "turgid shite" and "grad skool copypasta." We advise residents not to try and teleport into the event at this time.

[UPDATE] The lecture has been removed from the Events Calendar. Thank you for your patience.



[RESOLVED] Transaction History embarrassing

We are currently investigating an issue in which Coolguy25 consumed large quantities of wine coolers last night and spent $5000L on dungeon equipment, which is way more than he can afford and besides his apartment can only hold 36 prims and the Swing-N-Spank by itself is 48 prims, and it's all kind of useless since his girlfriend doesn't log in anymore anyway and what the hell was he thinking, god his head hurts and shit, he really needs to piss.

[UPDATE] Resolved. The vendor has agreed to refund the Swing-N-Spank but not the other items, and Coolguy25 has upgraded to a premium account, a primmier apartment, and a cold shower.

:o

Bling is My Thing

We at Tiny Dancing are committed to bringing you interesting and thought provoking commentary about Second Life. To that end, we have been scouring the metaverse to find the most educational, informative and witty pundits to expand our editorial roster. With that in mind, please welcome our newest columnist, Coolguy25. We think you'll like what he has to say.

Bling is My Thing
by Coolguy25

Word up! Listen up peeps -- one of the best things about Second Life is that everybody gets a chance to shine. Whether you be making threads, spinning tunes, or coding up crunk rides, we all show off our creative lights. My special ability, and one that I believe I have really polished to the next level, is wearing Bling, or as we rockhounds call it, "Blinging."

Blinging is not as easy as it looks, believe me, even though it's one of those skills, like building or designing clothes, that looks simple. There is a low barrier to entry, to be sure, and so you see a lot of newbies doing it. All you have to do is just put on a diamond necklace with a lot of shine, right?

Damn, snizzer! It don't work like that! You can't just throw on a diamond-studded "777" neck snake on your first day out clubbing and tell people, "Yo, I'm blinging." Sorry Harley, but it ain't that easy. It takes years of dedicated hard work to Bling properly: to develop a repertoire, a wardrobe, and the confidence to wear 250 prims of glowing rocks that say "SUCKA 4 LIFE" to a Linden's Office Hours.

First things first, you have to have a solid collection of Bling, not just some random rock you grabbed out of a freebie dungeon. You have to know where to shop for Bling. You have to know how to shop for Bling. You have to know all the top Bling designers, from IceRock Samaritan to the GettoTiez Crew. You have to join the Bling groups like Shine On You Crazy Diamonds or the Ice Palace Posse (shout out to my boyz in the I.P.P! you boyz be HARD! Oh yeah you know what I talking bouts! HOWLZZZ!!) so you will be informed immediately when a new piece of custom Bling is available.

But quantity is not enough. Quality matters too. You have to hunt far and wide for the best Bling, like the ultra-rare Rainbow Rhinestone Playa Belt, which was released as limited edition piece by Djcashmoney back in April, 2007 before he quit the game. You don't see many of those on the Exchange anymore, my blinga! That's a rare, priceless collector's items in the Blingdom community. Or a Carbonite Creations FlexiTwister -- give one of those to a diehard shineboy and you will have a friend for life.

Another thing about Blinging is that you have to know the lingo. Half the time we don't even call it Bling -- it's "rock" and "ice" and "shine." Good Bling is "heavy" and it "rox." Bad, cheap, or prim-heavy Bling is dismissed as zirconian, or "zirc." Calling someone a "zirc jerk" is about the worst insult you can dish out in the Blinging community. Most newbs you see fronting with their freebie ropes are straight-up zircs, the fronters and the fakers! Those fools get played under the Sploder balls for the sucker rope-chuckers that they are!

So as you can see, Bling is my Thing, and I am excited to be able to talk to you about my Bling here every week.

Under my interests, you will, of course, find "Bling." I've also added it to the free text field underneath the Skills selection boxes, in case you should be interested in hiring me to wear some Bling for you at your next event.

Peace out.